Heart in Shreds

6^th February 2010

2.24pm

In my short life, I've truly fallen in love just once. My happiness was short lived though. My folks said NO! and made us break up. I tried to get back with him when I was in Las Gidi and we've been in touch since then ... I stupidly thought we were back on track - after just one night.

Big Mistake! I called to arrange another rendezvous recently and you coulda knocked me over with a feather from my shock at his response. He said he could not make it ... that he was on his honeymoon! L

I'm hurting seriously. I have no one to call mine and my seemingly eternal loneliness has really started affected my reasoning. All I need is someone to hold me through this storm that has become my life. *sob sob* Is that too much to ask for?! My heart and my eyes are tired of weeping. I never really tried loving anyone again ever since my first (and only time) ... Where's the encouragement to?!?!?

But I really wanna know ... what is my offence?! Loving someone?! I don't get it! Am I a victim of his personal vendetta? I did him no wrong ... unless loving him too damn much has become a crime. I was a helpless pawn in the drama that surrounded our break up. Ok, I admit, I was spineless ... I could not even as much as raise a finger in our defence but really ... could I have fought both my parents?!? Methinks he has a share of the blame too ... I was not the only coward ... what attempt did he make to save our love?! The only image I had of him was of a dog running away with its tail in between ... what happened to being a man? Ehn?

The pain is ... oh Gawd! I was gasping for breath even hours after I got his 'turn-her-down' text. I could only scream into my pillow ... and hold myself to (miserable) sleep. Funny thing is I'm not sure I've got anyone that can really relate to my situation ... I had no one to call... My best girlfriends?! Both of 'em were asleep at the time ... Ironic, innit? I've never been asleep whenever they needed me...*sigh*

Like a' said, my 'tears stream' has run outta supply... If I'd known that it would hurt this much ... that what I felt was still as intense ... I'd never had opened my door that night. Now, my heart is cold ... stone hard ... broken ... in shreds...

Yours ... in Pain,

P. Streak